There is More to Indian Malls, Jan 2005

Lifts in order, escalators moving, friendly security guards, organized parking, clean urinals, plenty of space to fool around, cool air-conditioning, no litter, no betel-juice splattered walls, no graffiti such as Indians love Pakistanis, clean floors --- this cannot be India.

It is.

The last decade or so has seen the unshackling of the Indian economy courtesy liberalization and globalization. One positive fall-out of this has been a realty boom across the country whether in residential or commercial space. Another change has been sprawling and glitzy shopping malls erected at a frenetic pace in major cities such as Bangalore, Mumbai, Hyderabad, Chennai and Delhi.

The past year has witnessed the mushrooming of these buildings in Delhi, that has not only changed the way Indians go about their shopping, which was usually in crowded, humid and jammed markets, but even changed the way Indians behave. As is said, economics is about behavioral studies.

There are three such malls, Sahara, City Center and Metropolitan located in urban Gurgaon, the satellite town of Delhi, described by Indians who have not visited Singapore as the Singapore of India. This is because the buildings are state-of-the-art, but the rest of infrastructure, including roads, public transport and traffic leading to the malls are in an appalling condition.

There are gaping manholes formed every monsoon, that not only suck in people but sometimes cars and also trucks. Thankfully, the story is different inside as these complexes are of international standard if one can term the ones in south east Asia so. And, herein lies the paradox.

Multi-storied air-conditioned buildings housing restaurants, multiplexes, clothing and electronic shops, coffee kiosks, fast food, girls in short skirts and tank-tops mesh together to create a very un-Indian scenario, seen only on television and events such as an Indian fashion show, where women have only heavenly figures and prêt wear includes micro-minis. This could not be happening in India just a while back.

A Bit of History

Not too long ago, in Delhi, the only urinals one could visit were located at five-star hotels. The rest left an odor on the body that lasted till a change of clothes and complete rinsing. Hence, innumerable Delhiites relieve on the roadside while women have a bad time.

Similarly, the only places with free air-conditioning were the American and British Council libraries, where retired civil servants and sundry others without work, snoozed and snored in cool comfort during the afternoons. The rest of the unemployed, especially the youth, overawed by libraries, spent time at cheap movie halls showing equally cheap movies. The one last bastion of coolness was the underground Palika bazaar at Connaught Place where there is no space to walk and a fire or bomb scare happens the day before or after a visit. This writer wouldn’t be alive otherwise.

That is until the malls happened. No family outing or dating itinerary is now complete without a visit to one of these. The same people who lined up outside temples or India Gate in the evenings, the most popular family entertainment for a long time, now visit the malls. There is equal space for elders to take a cool siesta while the youngsters can just hang-around.

The glitz is for real

I decided to check them out personally, to know for sure that the outward glitz did not conceal a whole lot of muck inside.

Having used the toilets, the cleanliness can be vouched for, the flush was working and even the toilet paper was in order. As a matter of fact an attendant waited outside and entered immediately after to crosscheck and clean. Slightly, disconcerting. I sniffed around for dark dank corners that are usually visited by more normal denizens to ease their bladders, but found none.

A friendly security guard, not a regular specimen, came up to me and said, ``that way is a dead end, sir.’’

I scoured every lift to check for graffiti, the, I love you forever types. There were none. A friendly liftman, he was actually there, said, ``have a good day sir,’’ as I stepped out.

This is not India, I told myself. Talking of lifts, the one that was not working had a warning placard announcing the same. Generally, when lifts do not function, the authorities find out last. So, there are usually people stuck inside who bang and scream as if they are running out of Oxygen, although all of them must have been stuck in a lift sometime in their lives.

Even the escalators were working. The last time an escalator was installed in Delhi was at the Railway station, quite a few years back. It has never functioned; at least nobody claims to have seen it move.

Finally, I had to check whether the one bastion of Indianness was transcended --- litter. Littering is a birthright and some parents feel proud when their children eject toffee bites and potato chip bags everywhere. It gives them a sense of power and independence, of being able to do what one wants to, of freedom and democracy.

Sadly, there was no litter at the mall.

This writer tried to ascertain the behind-the-scene psyche that has resulted in the neatness and organisation. The corporate office of one mall was a venue for such answers.
The manager on duty was patient and heard out the woes. ``Where has India disappeared,’’ I asked.

His explanation was simple. Indians per say do not like to be the first to do anything. Only if one does it everybody does it and if no one does it, nobody does it.

``Just as we had one Miss Universe and now we have so many. It is the same syndrome,’’ he explained.

The critical issue over here, he further added, is to ensure that the first of such happenings do not happen.

``If one person spits in a corner, within minutes there will be 50 more spitting at the same spot which will turn into an impromptu permanent spittoon. Similarly if one person writes on the wall of the lift, 100 will follow in 20 seconds and the entire mall will be one American graffiti’’ he explained.

``The key is security, and we are very tight, though polite about it. But, at the same time apprehensive as one slip up (quite literally) means things will go haywire.’’

This writer did not agree with the manager. More and more Indians have been exposed to systems abroad and know of their spotless functioning. Perhaps, it’s a change of heart and mind. But, one could also be jumping the gun. As they say, we are like this only.

Kissing James Bond In Inida, January 2004

Invoking feelings of pride for the entire sub-continent, India's top actress, Aishwarya Rai, has been approached to play the "Bond girl" opposite Pierce Brosnan, a coveted role consistently filled by some of Hollywood's sexiest ladies - most recently Academy Award winner Halle Berry.

In the interviews that have followed the announcement, Rai has been asked the same question time and time again - will she kiss James Bond, as most Bond girls do, quite willingly? Rai has been circumspect, knowing the Indian media all too well. Even an unsuspecting remark could be a headline: "Rai will kiss Brosnan", or "Rai prepared to bond with Bond", or "Rai will go all the way".

Rai told the British press that she has agreed to appear in the next James Bond film if its producers agree to use a body double for the sex scenes, noting that her strict upbringing meant there was no question of her doing anything saucy. "I've said I will do the film if there is a body double.

The producers have said they will have to ask Pierce," she said. Pierce can't be happy. The focus here, though, has been on the kiss, as most writers have ruled out sex. Indeed, a top Bollywood actress kissing on the screen is as close to going all the way as Indians are accustomed too - by Bollywood standards.

Handsome as Brosnan may be, Rai's answers have been neutral, from, "I have not thought about it," to "We will have to wait and see, I have made no such commitments." A kiss in this country is a big deal. It has affected relations between India and Pakistan, although at most times it takes much less.

A furor was created a couple of years back when prominent author Khushwant Singh planted a party peck on the daughter of the then Pakistani high commissioner Ashraf Jehangir Qazi. Tenuous India-Pakistan relations took a further tumble.

Qazi scurried off to Islamabad to kiss the feet of then prime minister Nawaz Sharif, explaining that the whole of Pakistan need not be outraged. Worldwide, of course, a kiss always makes news that is given prominent coverage in India. Former US president Bill Clinton went as far as regularly kissing his wife Hillary on the forehead. Didn't feel the need to go any further.

Tennis great Andre Agassi likes to plant sweaty lingering kisses on his wife, Steffi Graf, between shots and games. She doesn't seem to mind. Not too long ago Agassi did it to Brooke Shields, who also did not seem to mind. Continuing with the tennis world, the Williams sisters are regularly planted a kiss by their father in appreciation of the good work they are putting in. In the runaway hit Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts' most "personal kiss" happened to be on the mouth, although she uses it on every other part of Richard Gere's anatomy.

Indian girls have routinely been in the news for "kissing indiscretions" that have not gone down too well with the population. Young, over-eager and beautiful actress Padmini Kolhapuri went "all the way" with Prince Charles. His royal highness was in the news again shortly after in India for the "not-so-eager kiss" by the late Princess Diana that sent the tabloids into a tizzy. Also worth noting was actress Shabana Azmi, who planted a "freedom kiss" on South Africa's Nelson Mandela, which caused a lot of heartburn in the country.

We are a liberal country, not in the mold of Pakistan, but can be just as prudish when our women kiss - or are kissed - by men who don't belong here. The only instances of public kissing here involve foreigners. There is always a crowd of hangers-on who accumulate for a closeup of the action, which can happen on a street or a market place. The big question, however, remains: with Internet porn, explicit pictures and video just a click away, why, then, is kissing such an issue in the land of Kama Sutra and Khajuraho? There have been several explanations to this phenomenon.

First, it is the stereotype of the Hindi movies, the most popular mass culture phenomenon apart from cricket. (There is little scope for kissing in cricket, as only men play it, and mostly just men watch it.) In the Hindi movies the kiss is a really big happening, if it happens at all. Hindi songs are not only about running around trees, but also gyrations that approximate making love with clothes on and from a distance. But when it comes to a real kiss, the world shakes and the heavens come down. A recent example that attracted attention was the "rain kiss" in the movie Raja Hindustani in which the two top stars, Karishma Kapoor and Aamir Khan, kiss each other.

The clouds thundered, lightening struck and the rain grew heavier as the lips touched. The common explanation by producers and directors as well as the censor board is that Hindi movies are family outings; so kissing is a no-no. But the most brutal violence on screen escapes any cuts. Recent crossover movies aimed at non-resident Indians and English-speaking urban audiences are bolder. One has the pleasure of watching the absolutely ravishing Lisa Ray kissing in Bollywood Hollywood. There were a number of full-throated scenes with Rahul Khanna, well shot with Lisa putting up a sterling performance.

Then there was the movie called Khwaish that was released a few months ago. It stars two newcomers who are being actively sought due to the 17 kissing scenes in the movie. Recent surveys have indicated that promiscuity as well as frequency of sex among Indians is on the rise. Yet it is not as if smooching happens in public places here. Another reason for the coy approach is the laws that prosecute for public obscenity - including kissing. Indian cops, generally a lethargic lot, are eagle-eyed about couples on the loose in gardens, parks, cars or on any corner. It's the easiest money-earner. One more explanation, far-fetched though, is the weather.

It is hot most of the time, requiring air-conditioning for kissing in the open. This writer, however, attributes it to kismet - bad karma in the past - that has resulted in kisses being such misses in this great nation.

Baseball in India, September 2003

Will baseball, America's staple sport, catch on in India?

Things American are already a rage here, the latest being `Charlie's Angels'. But, the current debate is about baseball and the reluctance of Indians to imbibe the sport.

Two baseball experts flew into India recently to teach Indians baseball know-how and, predictably, invited considerable attention. Their effort is part of India's amateur baseball federation's move to boost the game in the country, and add further drops to the ocean of America that exists here.

Symbols of American life that pervade India include kids grown up on MTV lingo, `Friends' and HBO, sounding more American than Americans. Pepsi and Coke, Pizza Hut and Macdonald's, CNN and Fox, Kentucky Fried Chicken and IBM, have set up shop and are a part of every day life and culture and also the subject of public ire each time there is a ventilation of anti-American sentiments.

News follows Christian Amanpour as much as Britney Spears or Jennifer Aniston. `Bruce Almighty' registered a good opening while Julia Roberts is the Pretty Woman and India's Sweetheart as well. A mass of Indians employed as call center executives masquerade as Americans (Reena becomes Ron) on phone, catering to a Citibank account holders' inquiries from Oklahoma.

Indians also know that George Bush's (mis) pronunciations on TV affect their lives as much as Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee -- an attack on Iraq that can wreck stock market fortunes here or a meet with President Musharraf of Pakistan at Camp David that is a matter of life and death in Kashmir. Jay Leno jokes abound.

But, it is in sports that American influence has been rather limited. Indians don't understand American football and don't play baseball. Basketball is practiced by a few, while boxing news is limited to Evander Holyfield in the ring and Mike Tyson off it.

If there is one game that has taken recent root in the country, it is golf, proven by the proliferation of golf courses in the last few years. But, this has been more of a corporate effort than a people response, which means golf is fast turning into a popular game of the rich. Further, golf is as European as American. Similarly, there is an increasing stock of people interested in Formula-1 racing and bowling.

But baseball is as true as American can be. Thus, when two American baseball coaches arrived here, the talk centered around why do Indians who have taken to every American facet, including accent, like fish to water, resist baseball?

The answer lies in a continental divide. What baseball is to America, soccer is to Europe, cricket is to the Indian sub-continent consisting of Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and India. If Europe cannot look beyond David Beckham, whom Americans ignored on his recent trip to promote football in the US, Indians cannot see beyond Sachin Tendulkar, the cricketing God of India.

This writer is not aware of a single baseball player. Only that Michael Jordan is, or till recently was, the God of America and Reebok -- or was it Nike. If Sachin steps out of his house in India, David in England, Michael in America, it is news as flashy as it can get.

When golf made its hesitant beginnings in India, a prominent coach from the famous David Leadbetter academy said, “Indians will never learn how to play golf as they can play no game unlike cricket. So, a slice is a cover drive to the right and a hook is an on-drive to the left.'' The coach was wrong -- Indians took to golf and there is a legion of Indian golfers now, making more money than most cricketers, which was just a dream a while ago.

But, will the golf case mean baseball can succeed as well? To reverse the question, could cricket translate into an American success, like Indian curry and `Bend it Like Beckham'? What are the chances of Sachin Tendulkar turning God in America? He is an icon in England, South Africa and Australia, where Donald Bradman is on the pedestal.

Essentially, cricket and baseball look similar on TV. There is a guy who chucks the ball, another who wields the bat, catchers all around and, to make a run, you need to run. If the two are just different garbs, and sports as we know can bring people together, as was attempted by the recent US-Iraq football match, baseball and cricket should build further bridges between India and US.

It will not be so easy. Indeed, to make any beginning, one has to further ask whether Americans would like to watch Sachin on Oprah, or would Oprah feature Sachin. This writer wouldn't watch an unnamed baseball star on a TV chat show here -- Sachin on ESPN/Star Sports any day. It is the icons that create a particular sporting spirit -- Germany took to tennis after Boris Becker, Beligum, after Justin Henin, and the world has taken to golf after Tiger Woods.

Sports can be an intense personal choice -- hamburgers from Macdonald's may not be changing filiations, but here it is a matter of changing Gods -- from Sachin to Michael or vice versa. It can be an impossible decision or a matter of time. Unless Anna Kournikova chooses to play both, which has nothing to do with God or tennis.

Queue Sera Sera, November 2003

India's great leap forward into technology, accompanied by dollops of government services privatization, is doing away with the late and unlamented queue, in which private citizens used to spend hours.

Change is fast becoming more and more apparent, with the individual the beneficiary. Although no statistical evidence exists on the time spent standing in queues before India's querulous and ill-tempered bureaucrats, it must have amounted to quite a bit of the lifetime of several of our ancestors, grandparents, fathers, mothers and us.

The payment of electricity bills may have been the worst - it was so bad that there was a queue to get in the queue. That is, the actual queue to pay the bill was so long that private agencies and individuals took it upon themselves to pay the bills for other people for a fee. But so many people patronized the agencies that the queues to hire the agencies were bigger than the real queue.

This is no joke. Until recently - in most places less than the last year - some members of the family were forced to take a day off from work to pay the electricity bill. The lucky ones who had aging, retired and often ill grandparents delegated. But it was a sorry sight. Paying the telephone bill was equally arduous. The problem was the monopoly status of the government in dispensing these services.

Further, any reneging or delay in payment led some slothful public sector employees to take on unmatched speed and skill to disconnect the services. Harassment to make money was their motto. Then Internet-savvy private banks came to the fore. Both telephone and electricity bills can now be paid online.

A click on the "bill payment" section from the comfort of one's home or office computer takes care of a host of services - credit cards, electricity, loan premiums, cell phone bills to name a few. The queues have disappeared and the process takes but a few minutes. Private foreign and Indian banks have further contributed their might to reducing queues - ATMs, online requests for drafts and fixed deposits have made the process of waiting for the cashier or manager at an unfriendly public bank a thing of the past.

Online share trading, with several banks acting as brokers, is catching on. The Internet has also resulted in the elimination of several other queues. Train reservations, another long drawn out affair, now are available online. So is the booking of cinema tickets, which at one time or other contributed to ever-increasing statistics of more and more Indians waiting unendingly their turn in line.

The filing of tax returns too once engendered an army of touts and agents who took turns to stand in line for a commission. Now the forms can be downloaded and submitted online. Another queue has been nipped at the bud. Not too long ago, a telephone connection was the exclusive domain of bureaucrats and politicians who doled out the favors like feudal lords. The waiting period was years and the list more than a million.

There were even reports of women sleeping with politicians to avail themselves of personal telephone facilities. The advent of private players has meant that the public sector employees have finally been jolted by fears of voluntary retirement schemes and redundancy. The customer service has never been better; as a matter of fact often better than even the private players who are driven only by money. Privatization has also meant that almost anybody above the poverty level can afford a cellular telephone.

The customer is the real king. One more example in this sector is the phone directory service - earlier one waited and waited for the operator only to be rudely told off. But now, India's directory assistance ladies are sweeter than honey. Analysis has shown that the government people are reacting positively to the challenge of competition and in several cases are doing quite well.

They have even been known call to inquire whether a complaint has been attended to. Similar has been the case for cars, Liquefied Propane Gas (LPG) and airline tickets, all of which are now available over the counter or the telephone or online. A few years ago, there were special government quotas to book cars and many a senior government official prided himself on having cars released for relatives.

The only planes one could use belonged to Indian Airlines, who took their own sweet time to fly and sometimes did not. LPG was delivered by whim. Food for the family be damned. However, problems still fester. Drivers' licenses and passports are still a hassle. As cars become increasingly available through easy loan schemes, traffic has become a nightmare and Indians now find themselves facing the brunt of traffic queues as roads, the key infrastructure area, still leave a lot to be desired.

The airports too remain in a state of decline, with immigration and customs clearance a long-drawn-out process. Power is the monopoly of the government in most of India, making an irregular and often non-existent electricity supply a bane for citizens. Nobody, however, can deny that technology and the unleashing of private entrepreneurial spirit has made things a lot easier for people living in India, as well as the many others who are part of the reverse brain drain process.

The queues are dwindling.